Paying a Sunday morning visit to the variety store...



Solved

So now we know why the Cleveland Indians staggered through the 2009 season like a bunch of extras from George Romero’s 1978 classic, “Dawn of the Dead.”

Turns out, you can blame the Indians themselves.

On my desk sits a copy of the 2009 Cleveland Indians Information and Record Book, a long, drawn-out name for media guide.

On the cover are photographs of four players — Grady Sizemore, Kerry Wood, Cliff Lee and Victor Martinez.

Let’s run down a mental checklist of how the Fab Four did this summer:

n Sizemore was never right the entire season before shutting it down late in the season and having surgery on his left (throwing) elbow and his groin (ouch).

n Wood was plagued by long stretches of inactivity and, on those occasions when the dust was blown off him, struggled with command all season, thanks to a combination of rust and the inability to locate both his fastball and his curveball.

n Martinez was an All-Star at catcher, but was shipped off to Boston for Justin Masterson and prospects.

n Lee was dealt away to Philadelphia for prospects, helped the defending World Series champion Phillies to another division title and threw a complete-game, 5-1 win at the Colorado Rockies in Game 1 of a National League division series this week.

Based on these results, here’s a suggestion for the Wahoos for the cover of their 2010 media guide — a blank page.



Good riddance

While the question of getting value in return is legitimate, you won’t find this corner lamenting the Browns peddling former Pro Bowl wide receiver Braylon Edwards to the Jets for two lesser-knowns and two draft choices.

The (tired) act of Edwards Scissorshands won’t be missed by anyone in these parts.



At the movies

How cool is this?

A New Hampshire man was recently going through his grandfather’s home movie collection and found the rarest of rare, at least as far as Major League Baseball is concerned — footage of Babe Ruth in action.

In the scene, the Babe has struck out looking. Not pleased, he leans on his massive bat, right hand on his hip and looks back and barks something at the home plate umpire.

As the Babe finally heads back to the dugout his head remains turned at the umpire. Another legend of the game, Lou Gehrig, is seen waiting on deck, also with hand on hip.

As the Babe shuffles back to the dugout, he drags his bat through the Yankee Stadium dirt.

The footage also includes eight seconds of him playing in right field, something Major League Baseball Productions, located in Secaucus, N.J., had not had previously.

Though the Babe played more than 2,200 games in the outfield, no game footage of him playing there had been known to exist — except that of him playing games of catch between innings.

The 90-second clip, shot from the first-base stands at Yankee Stadium during a yet-to-be-determined game, is soundless.

However, it is pure gold for the Major League Baseball Film and Video Archive.

For all of the Archive’s footage of the Babe — the greatest player in the history of the game and an iconic figure, 51 years after his death in 1948 — would fit onto a one-hour tape.



Armed and...

Speaking of movies, in the best comedy of all-time, “Animal House,” there’s a scene where Delta brothers Otter and Boone are hitting golf balls at that rat, Niedermeyer. who was sitting on top of a horse while he was screaming at freshmen at Faber College.

At one point in the scene, Otter says to Boone, “Keep your left arm is straight...”

A poor duffer in Beaufort, S.C. would have a difficult time with that these days as officials report an alligator bit off part of the golfer’s arm as he leaned over to pick up his ball at a private course.

The man was apparently attempting to retrieve his ball from a pond when the 10-foot alligator bit him at Ocean Creek Golf Course, located in Beaufort County.

The gator pulled the man into the pond and ripped off his arm in the struggle.

Fortunately, playing partners were able to free him.

Wildlife workers killed the alligator and retrieved the arm in the hopes it might be reattached.

Now that’s what I call a real water hazard.



Aw, Scony

We learned last week through those in the know that the favorite dance step for Marcus Pierson — known to most as Scony, the Robin to Batman (Roger McCoy) on the morning show of The Bull, 98.3-FM — is the can-can.

We hear when he begins to perform the dance, he takes the plunge, will not be stalled and is flush with excitement.



This and that

n Football question for all of my referee friends out there in Loyal Readerland — why is a ballcarrier using a stiffarm to a would-be tackler’s facemask OK, while it’s a penalty if the defensive player returns the favor?

n Though I very much look forward to resumption of “Lost” this winter, another ABC show, “Flash Forward,” is doing a nice job of filling the void.

n While we’re on the subject of TV shows, a few of my guilty pleasures are “Ghost Hunters,” “UFO Hunters,” “Monster Quest,” “Mystery Quest,” “Destination Truth” and pretty much all the programing on my favorite channel, The History Channel. Ironically, I’ve never watched a single episode of any of the aforementioned shows live. Thank goodness for the invention of the DVR.

n Anyone else have a working turntable and, taking it another step, actually use it? Thanks mostly to my days as a DJ on Saturday nights at the County Seat — thank you, Michael B. Locy, Don Bugansky and Dave White — I have more than 900 45s and 500 albums, all still stored standing upright in peach crates.



McCormack is the sports editor of the Star Beacon. Reach him at donmac@suite224.net.